I remember parking at a beach, walking out, and getting lost in the scenery and my thoughts. It was a beautiful setting, but there was torment inside me. What’s gonna happen? If I go back, will I be looked at as a failure? How am I gonna go back?
Isaias Gil’s Story
I’m a product of a single-mom household. I grew up with my grandparents in Mexico. And in Mexico at that time, a single mom wasn’t accepted – the family would struggle and feel shamed. But not my grandfather, this Mexican Macho Man, his heart softened. They supported my mother and me. We had their family name. They were just very welcoming and loving before I even entered this world. That was huge!
My mom began picking out names for me – well, she didn’t pick it out. She saw this scripture on a wall frame with an eagle, and it was Isaias 41:10. When she read it, she got super emotional. She felt a rumble in her tummy, and she knew it was me and not, you know, bad pains or anything. The bible verse said:
“Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.” – Isaias 41:10
I look back and see it show up, whether it’s been a father figure at a time when I needed it, or I feel like I have missed out on things. But I never missed out – there was always someone there for me, even if I didn’t see it at the time. And that bible verse has led me through life.
This extends to my drummer career, everything I’ve been allowed to be a part of. I don’t know what’s gonna come of whatever opportunity, but something good will come.
Moving to Los Angeles
I moved out to LA, and I ended up homeless out there. I went out for music, and things didn’t quite work out.
And a ton of people here in town were rooting for me and supporting – and I didn’t wanna let anybody down. I remember parking at a beach, walking out, and being lost in a beautiful setting, yet there was so much torment inside of me.
What’s gonna happen? If I go back, will I be looked at as a failure? How am I gonna go back?
There was always a blessing coming in totally unexpected during the darkness. I would either get sent money or a hotel room book for the night or whatever. And even though these thoughts tormented me, I just saw God through all of it.
Letting Go of What I Want
When moving out to LA, I just wanted the opportunity. I wanted it on my resume. I wanted it as a merit badge or a validation of some sort.
My turning point was letting go of what I felt was successful. Letting go of what I thought people were gonna think of me. I realized I am not entitled to anything, and nothing belongs to me.
I sat down with some friends. They invited me to come home and reset.
I went home.
I was battling a failure mentality – the pain of being ashamed. I was battling depression. But there was also this strange peace.
Once I returned, I began receiving calls for gigs, and the doors opened. I even got the opportunity to play with Jaci Valesquez.
Slowly that peace transformed into gratitude and then turned into joy.
That is why I find peace in my name, Isaias.
How wild that my mom named me after Isaias 41:10 because she was going through fear then. God provided for her and my family. For them to have me, you know, and to give me a good life.
And now, for me, it’s the same thing. Through the fear, through the worry, through whatever it is. My mom will just send me not the whole scripture, but just remember where your name came from.
I know it’s so tough at the moment, but I think that’s why I hold onto it. It’s always going to work out, even if it’s hard. God hasn’t failed me yet. So I just gotta remember that.